Bacon Stuffed Crust

There are three words that should be able to bring any pizza-lover to their knees: Bacon Stuffed Crust. I could end this there, and I’d have done enough. After all, what more do you need to hear? It’s bacon, and it’s stuffed in the crust. With cheese? Did I mention this was pizza? I don’t know about you, but I’ll probably need a cold shower after this.

This sexy beast was introduced to many Pizza Hut restaurants fairly recently. It featured prominently on some regional advertising, but in many others you could only get it if you specifically requested it. Pizza Hut actually released a statement along the lines of, “You can only get this option if you use the words ‘Bacon Crust Have’ when ordering your pizza”, presumably while they were giggling into their hands and high-fiving each other.

I know this is a secret menu item, but there’s really no need for codewords. After all the excitement, I am now no longer convinced I even want this. I mean, I’m not sure I can bring myself to say those words to a server while keeping my self-respect in tact.

So, tell Pizza Hut they can keep their gooey cheese, their finely chopped bacon, their herb butter, their garlic… and…what were those words again?

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